Men gather to pray and share

By Michael O’Connell
 CFP Correspondent

Of the four men’s conferences Karl Rice has attended, this one was shaping up as his favorite. He came with his 15-year-old grandson, Nick Matte. Nick is being confirmed in April, and Mr. Rice, his sponsor, thought the conference would be a good experience for him.
“It was all his idea,” Nick said, as they walked through the vendor area at the 18th annual Worcester Diocesan Catholic Men’s Conference Saturday. “He thought it would be good for my journey. It’s been interesting.”
While Nick talked, his grandfather smiled broadly.
It was that kind of feel-good day as organizers hosted upwards of 1,000 men at Assumption College’s Plourde Recreation Center. The crowd turned out to hear inspirational speakers, have lunch, go to confession, network, shop for books and gifts, learn about area Catholic organizations and join Bishop McManus for Mass.
Many had enjoyed prior conferences enough to return.
“My neighbor told me about it last year, and I said ‘Yes, I’ll go,’” said Dennis Roy, 75, of Nashua, N.H. “I really enjoyed it last year.”
Mr. Roy, who retired from the Anheuser Busch plant in Merrimack, N.H., more than a dozen years ago, said he has been dedicating himself to his faith more in recent years, coordinating community activities for the Knights of Columbus and attending daily Mass.
“I’m glad I came this year,” he said. “I enjoyed coming to confession with everybody. It being Easter time and all, it’s just a really good feeling being here.”
Gregory Brackett, 55, of Lincoln, R.I., also returned for his second conference. Two of his brothers are priests and two are religious brothers at St. Benedict Center in Harvard. He said he was most moved by the positive messages the conference gave men about being dedicated.
“You get such a dilution in masculinity in society these days,” Mr. Brackett, a property manager, said.  “Events like these give you the resources to help ground yourself in masculinity in a positive way.”
John Dadah, an optometrist from Holden, returned for his second conference. He pledged to come back every year for the foreseeable future.
“It’s just nice being around like-minded people,” he said. “There’s just a great sense of community, and a lot of great lessons you hear from the speakers. You get good messages, affirming your faith.”
Many father-and-son tandems attended.
Mike Reed, a 61-year-old attorney in Worcester, said his 86-year-old father, Francis, urged him to go. He said his dad has been to all 18 men’s conferences and has been attending retreats for more than 60 years.
Paul Fitzpatrick, 54, of Oxford, brought his son Ben, 21, simply because “it’s a great way to spend a Saturday during Lent.”
“It’s nice to see a thousand guys in the same room with the same faith,” said Ben, a college junior. “Being at UMass Amherst, there’s not as much of a religious presence. It’s just nice to see this many people fully living the lifestyle.”
Gerry Degnan, of St. Ann Parish in North Oxford, attended the conference with his grown sons Brian, Daniel and Michael. He said it was nice to have three of his four sons there.
“We came for Dad,” said Brian Degnan, who’s been before. He said it was nice to spend the day with family, recharging their batteries.
Daniel Degnan, a first-timer, said he liked it; he was fascinated with many of the stories.
Mr. Rice, attending with his grandson, said he particularly enjoyed Marcellino D’Ambrosio’s talk, “Keeping your kids Catholic.”
“Being here, it’s really inspirational seeing how your faith gets passed down through the generations,” he said. “I wonder: ‘Did I do the right thing? Did I set the right example?’ You hear Dr. Marcellino’s story about his teenagers, how he got them to go to church, and it’s really inspiring.”
Mr. Rice’s grandson assured his confirmation sponsor that he continues to set the right example.
“He’s done a good job,” Nick said with a laugh.
“I think this was the best conference we’ve had,” said Richard Atkins, of St. John Parish in Worcester. “This is going to take me almost to April 6 next year” – the diocese’s next men’s conference.
– CFP reporter Tanya Connor contributed to this report.




Keeping  your children interested in the faith

By Michael O’Connell
 CFP Correspondent
Like most other Catholic parents, Marcellino D’Ambrosio has stories about the challenges he faced keeping his five kids interested in the faith. They questioned God’s existence, dabbled in drugs and/or “tuned me out for a while.”
But, unlike most parents, the Dallas-based evangelization apostolate director and commentator has studied the issue and come up with a formula for keeping kids Catholic. He related these ideas at the diocesan men’s conference Saturday.
“No matter where I go,” he said, “people always ask, heartbroken, ‘How do you get your kids back to church? How do you keep them from leaving?’”
The numbers back him up. He told of a study that found that 25 to 30 percent of Americans who identify as Catholics attend Mass regularly. That number dropped to 13 percent for Generation X adults (in their 30s and 40s) and 10 percent for millennials (teens and 20s).”
He also cited a European government study which looked into factors that influence adult children’s church attendance. If the mother went regularly and the father didn’t, 2 percent went regularly, 38 percent went occasionally, and 60 percent didn’t go. If the father went, 44 percent went regularly, 38 percent went occasionally, and 18 percent didn’t go.
“Sons and daughters love their mother, but they imitate their father,” Mr. D’Ambrosio said. “When they think about what’s relevant in real life, the father represents the outside world. If it’s not important for the father, it’s not really important.”
Mr. D’Ambrosio’s message to the men: Communicate the importance of a life of faith, and your children will listen.
As a child growing up in Providence, he said, he attended church because his father went and because “I didn’t want to go to Hell.” But he was more interested in the excitement of playing in rock bands.
In the more moral culture of the 1950s and early-1960s, Catholics could get by doing the minimum, he said. Then came a “cultural tsunami” of pornography, riots and questioning of authority, and now weekly Mass attendance isn’t enough.
“A more vital faith is necessary,” Mr. D’Ambrosio said. “We’re wired for adventure.” Parents and children need a personal encounter with Christ.
At St. Patrick Parish on Federal Hill, where prayer meetings were held, Mr. D’Ambrosio found people who were letting God guide them.
“That was more exciting than being a rock star,” he said. “I asked Jesus to be the center of my life.”
The man who calls himself “Dr. Italy” said kids should view faith like activating a debit card: You need to make the effort, but once it’s activated it’s available all the time.
Kids have free will and need God to draw them to him, but “you can become a channel instead of a block,” Mr. D’Ambrosio told listeners. He gave the following suggestions.
“You can’t live an adventure unless you’re growing constantly. You cannot keep praying the same way.” If you’re having an adventure, you’ll smile more and your kids will see your joy.
To affirm kids, find something good in them even if they are sinning. If they experience your affirmation, they’ll come back after they’ve taken a safari.
He told of an uncle who “got down to our level” to play. When in a rebellious stage, he took that uncle’s suggestion: Since you’re interested in the poor, read the Sermon on the Mount.
Lecturing doesn’t work, Mr. D’Ambrosio said; sharing your weakness does. He linked humility, humor and laughing at oneself.
He said his formula took a while, but it worked for his own kids. Two of his sons produce videos to evangelize millennials, and the youngest at least goes to church. One of his daughters works for Ascension Press and one serves the poor.


Blessings and tragedies: Speakers share their journeys

By Tanya Connor
 The Catholic Free Press

Talking and singing about their tragedies – and blessings – speakers at Saturday’s diocesan men’s conference encouraged listeners to remain faithful to God and serve others. Photos and news reports shown on large screens helped convey their messages.
Bishop McManus acknowledged that giving up St. Patrick’s Day to be there was “a big sacrifice for some of us.” He urged listeners to be missionary disciples like St. Patrick, who evangelized Ireland, and St. Francis Xavier, who baptized thousands in India and Japan.
Father David Cavanagh, an Opus Dei chaplain in Cambridge, likened going to confession to working with one’s coach on one’s weaknesses. He also connected confession to the biblical story of the Prodigal Son (Lk 15:11-32).
    Speaker and songwriter Robert Rogers opened the day telling listeners to treasure their children, and asked whether their treasure is at their work, on the golf course or in the stock market.
“There is no quality time without quantity time,” he maintained.
“Eat together” – and put down the phone.
“Pray and read Scripture over your family.”
Come home from work on time and make decisions you won’t regret, “because in 2003 my life changed forever, and I was glad I made those decisions.”
He then showed a news report about his family being overcome by a flash flood.
“I believe God chose to spare me so I might be a beacon of hope,” teaching people to cherish their families, he said. He was taken to the hospital, where he was asked to identify three of his children.
“I collapsed over each of their bodies,” cried and said, “Lord, into your hand I commend their spirits,” he recalled. Later the bodies of his fourth child and wife were found.
Despite the tragedy, he didn’t lose his faith, and has no regrets, he said.
“That day my family died I’d hugged them all,” he said. “I’d told them I loved them.”
After their deaths he started the Mighty in the Land Foundation to help orphans and special needs children worldwide.
His story also had another happy ending: he remarried and has more children.
    Musicians Ryan Tremblay and his wife, Elizabeth, who grew up in the Worcester Diocese, played and sang, accompanied by percussionist Michael DeQuattro.
Mr. Tremblay said he used to tour the country playing for crowds. Though this was exciting, he realized he was missing something, really someone – Jesus.
His godmother suggested he read, “Rome Sweet Home,” and it changed his life, he said.
He told how he and his wife met Pope Francis. Afterwards, though they’d been told they had a 1 to 2 percent chance of having a baby, they had triplets (actually quadruplets; one died early on).
The couple sang, “One, Two, Three. What’s happened to me? … Now I don’t get much sleep… Many sweet moments make it worthwhile.”
Mr. Tremblay told how his sister, who had cancer, was told she’d have a better chance of surviving if she terminated her pregnancy. She chose to give her baby life, and died two months later. Her brother asked listeners to do something for the pro-life cause.
    Father Cavanagh told about a cancer patient who made excuses for not going to confession, but he assured the man it wouldn’t take long.
Grandfathers come to confession, worried about their children not frequenting the sacrament – because they haven’t either, Father Cavanagh said. He suggested that one person going removes others’ excuses and moves more people to go.
    Bishop McManus also talked about making a difference – not being indifferent – at the closing Mass.
Indifference asks, “What difference does it make if I  believe in God or go to church?”
“The difference is salvation,” Bishop McManus said. The opposite of indifference is missionary discipleship, bringing Jesus to others.
It is impossible to be authentic disciples without the grace of the sacraments, he said, urging listeners to say, like the Greeks in the day’s Gospel, “We want to see Jesus.” (Jn 12:20-33)
In a few moments “you will see Jesus, you’ll hold him in your hand and invite him into your hearts and lives,” he said, in reference to the Eucharist.