The power of asking evangelizing questions

By John J. Boucher  
Special to The CFP

My friend Jeff asked, “What is the best question for Catholics to start an evangelizing conversation with someone?” Some of his Evangelical and Pentecostal friends ask, “Have you met Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?” Also, he knew others who queried, “Do you realize that the end of the world could come tonight? Are you ready for heaven or hell?”

“What’s a good question for Catholics to ask to start such a conversation with someone?” It took me a while to think about this because it lies at the heart of what Catholic evangelization is all about.

Catholic evangelizing questions are so simple that we may not even consider them as evangelizing. We Catholics believe that Jesus was conceived in the Blessed Virgin Mary by the power of the Holy Spirit, was born, lived in a family, grew up, learned a profession as a carpenter, went out for three years to minister to others and proclaim the kingdom of God, was crucified, died, buried and rose from the dead. Given this more expansive view of Jesus’ life and mission, we Catholics have what is called an “incarnational” view of salvation and evangelization. Evangelizing questions can arise in almost any conversation we have with others because these are rooted in everyday life.

My answer to Jeff came down to this – for Catholics, the evangelizing question can be as simple as, “How’s it going?” By it I mean, your life, job, love, and losses.

The usual response people give to this question is, “Fine!” The next questions should be: “Tell me about how fine things are going?” or “What’s happening in your life? What’s your story?”

For Catholics, evangelizing is an ongoing experience of living together with others over time and trying to help them make sense of life, love, loss and even death in light of the saving power of Jesus Christ.

The demeanor of the person may change dramatically when we approach them this way. As we befriend and listen to them, they may begin to talk about real gut-level stuff that really makes a difference to them. Let me share how this has played out recently in my life in a conversation with a young adult who is religiously speaking a “none.” That is, if this person was asked what their religion is, they would answer “none.” By the way, many of our inactive Catholic young people (16-35 years old) consider themselves to be “nones.”

Pope Francis describes this kind of evangelization as “the art of accompaniment” in the apostolic exhortation “Evangelii Gaudium.”

Evangelizing accompaniment is a lifestyle of relating to people: praying and caring for them, sharing our own faith with them, and daring to invite them to take the next step in their spiritual growth. Sometimes this is described as “slow evangelization” over time, but accompaniment can begin at any time and any place in a person’s life. Below are some powerful evangelizing questions with which to begin accompanying someone.

1. Stop searching for people to evangelize, start seeing people already around you for who they really are? What do they hope? How are they looking for more in their lives?

When I was hospitalized recently, I met a nurse named Adrianna. I asked how she became a nurse. She shared her story of bouncing around from job to job until she felt a calling to become a nurse. We were already standing on the holy ground of a “life calling.”

2. Look deeply into the souls of those around you. What do they like? How did they prepare for what they are doing? Is this life their “dream” job, life or relationship?

I then asked Adrianna, “Is this your dream job?” We suddenly entered into a deeper conversation about life, love and loss. She began to tear up. She hungers for more in her life! Nursing throughout the pandemic and afterward has left her burned out. She is looking for the power to continue with life and work. She is also not satisfied with her relationship with her boyfriend and is longing for a love and commitment that is deeper.

3. Listen and ask questions out loud with them. “Where did you get the original inspiration for your dream job or dream life? How do you like or not like how things have turned out?”

Adrianna’s mother was a nurse. Her mom and dad are very supportive of her career. She yearns to build a strong love relationship with someone like that which her parents have. She is not satisfied just living with her boyfriend, who has very different values than she has.

4. From whom and where might they get real power to live a happier, fuller and better life?

Adrianna is on the edge of seeking the power of God in her life. Only Jesus, by the power of the Holy Spirit, can fulfill her deepest longings. We were on the verge of talking about where her search for more would lead when we were interrupted. Had it continued, it may have led to praying with her for her deepest longings to be fulfilled. Or I may have had the opportunity to share about how Jesus has fulfilled my deepest longings. It might even have led to inviting her to come to our parish. In this particular situation, all I can do is pray that she will meet someone else who can continue the conversation and help her meet Christ in the power of the Holy Spirit.

I believe we have the potential to reach many of the “nones” and other inactive Catholics in our everyday lives through the power of evangelizing questions. We need to build relationships or bridges with them over time that can grow into evangelizing opportunities. Evangelizing accompaniment is not just a single transaction between people.