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February 14, 2025By Bill Doyle | CFP Correspondent
WORCESTER - The number of marriages in the Catholic Church is down throughout the world, but the Office of Marriage and Family is doing its best to change that in the Diocese of Worcester.
Allison LeDoux, director of the Office of Marriage and Family, works with Msgr. F. Stephen Pedone, judicial vicar, to help couples prepare for Catholic marriage. The diocese requires engaged couples to take part in a year-long preparation to better appreciate marriage.
Mrs. LeDoux said she tells couples that the beauty of a Catholic wedding ceremony often has a powerful effect on not only them, but also their guests, whether they are Catholic or not.
“I think we have a lot of hope,” Mrs. LeDoux said. “From what I’m seeing and the feedback I’m getting, the couples that are getting married in the Church are really embracing the process and coming to the faith in a real way.”
Mrs. LeDoux said she’s optimistic that within the next generation more couples will marry in the Catholic Church.
“As the couples who are getting married in the Church, and their friends, see the beauty of what they’ve experienced,” she said, “it’s going to move other hearts to say, ‘Yes, I would like to get married in the Church.’ That’s our hope.”
Mrs. LeDoux said younger couples have told her that they don’t see many of their peers at Mass so she encourages them to reach out to the ones they do see.
A 2015 PEW research survey found that Catholics were less likely to divorce than the general population, 25 percent compared to 31 percent. Those who regularly attend religious services were 45 percent less likely to divorce.
The same study also identified that two-thirds of Catholics (68%) who are currently married were wed in the Catholic Church, and an additional 6% later had their marriages blessed by the Church.
February is a good time to honor marriage. World Marriage Day was celebrated on Feb. 9 and National Marriage Week runs from Feb. 7-14, leading into Valentine’s Day.
According to Mrs. LeDoux, the number of couples who married in the Catholic Church in the diocese has fluctuated but is steadily decreasing. In 2019 there were 406 Catholic and interfaith marriages in the Diocese of Worcester and in 2024 there were 261. The pandemic played some role but is not the only reason.
According to the Catholic news website, The Pillar, the number of Catholics in the world increased 17 percent from 2007-2019, but the number of marriages celebrated by the Catholic Church dropped 26 percent. In North America, the number of Catholic marriages celebrated per 1,000 Catholics decreased from 2.6 to 1.6 during that same time period. Those statistics were compiled before the start of the pandemic.
“It’s a huge problem for the Church as a whole,” Mrs. LeDoux said. “It’s really due to the secularization of the culture and the loss of the deep acknowledgment of God in people’s lives. They’ve lost sight of how important having God in their marriage is.”
Msgr. Pedone pointed out that the number of marriages is down not only in the Catholic Church, but everywhere. Non-Catholic clergy have told him that they’re seeing fewer marriages as well.
“My sense is it’s a fear of commitment,” Msgr. Pedone said. “They see a lot of their friends divorcing and they think that is going to happen to me. So, why should I commit myself to someone with whom I may feel differently later on?”
Msgr. Pedone pointed out that lack of commitment is a byproduct of today’s more mobile society, in which people don’t work for the same employer for as long as their parents and grandparents once did.
The numbers for those receiving other sacraments have decreased as well.
“That’s very, very sad to see that,” Mrs. LeDoux said.
Engaged couples in the diocese begin their year-long preparation by meeting with their parish priest to fill out paperwork. Then, the couples get together with their priests three to six more times in FOCCUS (Facilitate, Open, Couple, Communication, Understanding and Study) sessions to build, promote and enhance healthy relationships. Any disagreement that may come up with each couple is worked on during this discussion period.
Later, couples take part in two one-day online formation programs, God’s Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage and Life Skills for Couples provided by Ascension Press. Mrs. LeDoux meets with the couples to begin the program.
Of God’s Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage, Mrs. LeDoux said, “It gives a very deep and beautiful perspective on what the Church teaches about the sacrament of marriage as well as the gift of human sexuality.”
Mrs. LeDoux said Life Skills for Couples is more of practical application, teaching couples how to communicate, parenting styles, managing finances and working out problems with a sacramental worldview. She said couples have told her the formation programs have enabled them to deepen their relationships.
According to Mrs. LeDoux, one of the central themes that comes through the marriage formation programs is that God has brought this couple together and their job is to help each other get to heaven.
In the final step of the marriage preparation, couples meet with their priests to plan the wedding liturgy.
Mrs. LeDoux said vows taken at the altar are a covenant, a deeper bond than a mere agreement, and that through the grace of the sacrament, God gives us strength to get through the ups and downs of marriage.
“For Catholics, marriage is a sacrament,” Mrs. LeDoux said, “and also a natural institution created by God himself. God alone is the author of marriage.”
“I tell couples many times,” Msgr. Pedone said, “there will be times during your relationship when you will have to draw on the grace of that sacrament. Plus, it helps them participate fully in the life of the Church.”
A couple married outside the Catholic Church can have their marriage convalidated in the Catholic Church. Catholics who weren’t married by a deacon, priest or bishop with at least two witnesses, and Orthodox who weren’t married by an Orthodox priest can meet with their parish priests to fill out forms and take part in a convalidation ceremony that recognizes their civil marriages as valid in the Catholic Church, according to Msgr. Pedone.
“It’s very simple to have it taken care of,” he said.
Msgr. Pedone said that some couples choose to have destination weddings outside the Catholic Church and years later decide to have their marriage recognized by the Catholic Church. Other couples marry too quickly to be married in the Church. Others move into the diocese from countries where people must marry civilly before religiously.
Some couples decide to have their marriage convalidated after having a child they plan to have baptized. Some raise their children in the Church and decide to have their marriage recognized by the Church so they can receive Communion with them.
Msgr. Pedone said he didn’t have any statistics, but he said convalidations are “very common” in the diocese.
The Office of Marriage and Family also offers programs and resources for married couples and those discerning marriage.
– For more information or other resources contact the Office of Marriage and Family at 508-929-4311.
Why we chose to have our civil marriage
convalidated in the Church
By Rebecca Gordon | Special to The CFP
In a world where marriage is often seen as a contractual agreement, it is easy to forget the spirituality that underpins the union of two souls. For many Catholic couples, the realization that their marriage is not fully recognized by the Church can be a deeply spiritual awakening. This was the case for my husband and I as we embarked on our journey of convalidation, a sacred process that not only brought our 12-year civil marriage into alignment with Church teachings but also deepened our relationship with God and each other.
Our journey started with what seemed like a simple milestone – our daughter’s first Communion. My husband, Travis, a self-proclaimed agnostic, had always supported my faith, even though I had walked away from it years ago after my divorce. But as we prepared for her special day, I felt an undeniable longing, as if something vital was missing from my life. It was as though all the pieces were in place for me to make a decision that would impact my relationship with God and my family. With the incredible support of those around me, I made the difficult decision to start the annulment process. Throughout that journey, Travis bore witness to the deep spiritual healing that came from confronting the past and seeking God’s guidance. It was seeing my faith grow stronger during the annulment process, and the closeness that my daughter had in receiving Communion, that gave him the courage to explore his relationship with God and become Catholic through the RCIA process. Now, all that we needed was to make our marriage a sacrament.
The decision to pursue convalidation was not merely about obtaining a Church-sanctioned certificate; it was about making our marriage whole in every sense. The process itself was a spiritual journey – one that challenged us, strengthened us, and ultimately brought us closer together. We engaged in deep discussions about faith, attended marriage preparation sessions, and prayed together. Each step strengthened our commitment to one another and to God’s plan for us as a couple. The day of the ceremony, in front of those we loved the most, and who helped our journey along the way, we were able to reaffirm our love, this time, in the presence of God, making our marriage complete.
Looking back, we realize that convalidation was more than just a formal recognition of our marriage by the Church; it was a journey to completing the missing part of our relationship. It was a reaffirmation of our commitment not only to each other but also to God. It was a reminder that marriage is more than a partnership, it is a covenant that calls us to love selflessly and to grow together in faith.
For couples who may be considering convalidation, I would encourage you to take that step. The journey may not be easy, but it is personally fulfilling. It is an opportunity to strengthen your bond, to invite God into your marriage in a deeper way, and to experience the grace that comes from a sacramental union. Our convalidation has brought us full circle, healing old wounds and opening our hearts to the beauty of a marriage that is truly whole. And, for that, we are eternally grateful.
