Assessing our attitudes toward inactive Catholics

By John J. Boucher
Special to The CFP

Meggan and Ralph, a Catholic married couple, called me late one Friday afternoon. “There is going to be a crucial meeting tonight of leaders in our parish to discuss ‘the inactive Catholic problem’!” Ralph exclaimed. Meggan continued, “Numbers at Sunday Mass and parish activities are steadily declining. Financial support is in a downward spiral. We want to do a survey of missing Catholics. What are the best questions to ask ‘back-sliding, lapsed, fallen-away, lost, and apathetic’ Catholics so that we can get them back?” (Emphasis mine).
I congratulated them for their willingness to reach out to our inactive brothers and sisters. Yet, their words and tone in describing inactive Catholics made me pause. My next suggestion shook them up a bit: “Maybe the first questions to consider are not ones you would ask inactive Catholics. Perhaps you might start by asking yourselves, ‘How do we feel about inactive Catholics? What are our assumptions about them?’”
We all would like to have an “EASY” button we can push to bring back everyone who has left or drifted away from our parishes over the past years, especially since the pandemic. However, if we see inactive Catholics as “the problem” – the reason why many of our parish communities are stagnant, dwindling, no longer viable, merging, or closing – the welcome light we put out for them will be pretty dim.
Nick Wagner, former editor of Today’s Parish Magazine, wrote, “I think we all agree that we should be welcoming toward inactive Catholics and be reaching out to them. Sometimes, however, we have a giant ‘if’ behind our welcome. We will welcome them if they meet certain criteria.”
Melanie Rigney and Anna M. Lanave, co-authors of When They Come Home: Ways to Welcome Returning Catholics, Twenty-Third Publications, developed a questionnaire that can help us unearth some of our attitudes and assumptions that might block us from reaching out to inactive Catholics. The purpose of this article and exercise is not to argue about right or wrong Catholic beliefs and practice.
As Sherry Weddell, author of Forming Intentional Disciples: The Path to Knowing and following Jesus, reminds us, we should “never accept a label in place of a story.” Each inactive Catholic has a story to tell about the who, when, how, what, and why they became inactive. How can we become more compassionate listeners and not be blinded by our own perceptions, understandings, and issues?

Individual activity (5 minutes):

What are our attitudes toward inactive Catholics?
Please fill out the following questionnaire. Circle “True” or “False” after each of the statements below.

• People who don’t go to Mass are jeopardizing their salvation.
True
False

• Most inactive Catholics are angry with the Church.
True
False

• If you disagree with the Church, you shouldn’t call yourself a Catholic.
True
False

• You can be a good Catholic and not go to Mass.
True
False

• If you are divorced, you shouldn’t go to Communion.
True
False

• We should invite all Catholics to come back to Mass, but only if they go to confession first.
True
False

• There are liberal Catholics and conservative Catholics. All should be welcome.
True
False

• If a Catholic feels more comfortable in a Protestant church, he or she should go there.
True
False

• We should not baptize a child of parents who don’t intend to practice the faith.
True
False

• Once a Catholic, always a Catholic.
True
False

Share with “active” Catholic family members, friends, or in a small parish/neighborhood group (10-20 min.).
Invite three (3) active Catholic friends, family members, or acquaintances (individually or together) to read this article with you. (If it helps you to break the ice, you might begin by asking each person, “Can you help me help with the homework I have received from an article in The Catholic Free Press?”)
Without commenting or judging others’ answers, go around the small group and see how many of you circled true or false for each statement.
• What one or two of the statements above stir up the strongest feelings in you? Why?
• What two statements do you have the most questions about?

Just listen. After the other person(s) give their answers, share what yours are.
Then ask yourselves: “How might our reactions block someone from considering returning to the Catholic Church?”
Instructions for closing the small group (5-10 mins.)
Reflect in silence for a few minutes about how you would complete the sentence below. Then go around the group, each person briefly speaking one last time: “By doing this exercise I have realized that my own attitudes and assumptions about inactive Catholics are ___________.”

– John J. Boucher, contributor to The Catholic Free Press, Catholic evangelization consultant, and founder of Facebook group, “Keys to Reaching Inactive Catholics,” https://www.facebook.com/groups/keystoreachinginactivecatholics, is a member of the Parish Renewal and Evangelization Committee of the Diocese of Worcester.