When adult children drift away from Church ...

At the time of year when family gatherings are often plentiful, we offer these insights by John J. Boucher, a member of the Parish Renewal and Evangelization Committee of the Diocese of Worcester.

By John J. Boucher
Special to The Catholic Free Press

“There is no magic bullet” for evangelizing our adult children. I can say that my wife and I sowed the seeds of faith as long as we had that possibility in our younger years. We both became professional catechetical and evangelization leaders with master’s degrees in religious education. I worked full-time in parishes and dioceses with catechesis and evangelization for more than 40 years. With deep faith, the tools, and the knowledge, we did the best we could to invite them to a deeper faith in Jesus Christ and the Church.
However, high school, post-high school experiences, and the college years, with tsunami-like undertows, pulled all five of our adult children away from the Catholic Church. We struggled over and over with the same experiences as other Catholic parents – failure, denial, guilt, anger, frustration, and ultimately surrendering of each adult child to the Lord Jesus.
“God has no grandchildren, just children” (author unknown). Ultimately, our adult children must make their own decisions about Jesus and the Church. Our options about what we can do change as they become adults. From there on our roles become that of supportive love, intercessory prayer, accompaniment, and witness of a life lived in Jesus.
The key is to not break our relationships with them.
We will not have a positive influence on their lives if we criticize them about the way they live, argue with them about God and Church, or even worse – shun them and disinherit them.
Not long ago, I wrote for CatholicDigest.com about what we can still do today and every day: We can be a blessing for our adult children who have drifted from the Catholic faith. We can lift them up into the heart of God through persevering intercessory prayer, honesty before God about our own needs, thanksgiving to God for what’s good in their lives, prayer for their needs, and a willingness to share faith in Jesus with them “when the time is right.” Then, and only then, we can:
ω Ask open-ended questions such as, “What does this mean for you?” (Followed by listening).
ω Offer short blessings, such as “Peace be with you!” or “Alleluia!’”or “Lord have mercy!’”
ω Share how the message of Jesus has affected your daily life.
ω Share faith stories about our lives, our parents, grandparents, and other loved ones.
ω Extend effective invitations to serve others with us or join us at parish functions and events.
You can read more of that article “Praying for Our Adult Sons and Daughters: Placing Them in the Heart of God,” at www.catholicdigest.com/.../praying-for-our-adult.../.
I humbly offer you these insights. No matter what ages your children are now, one day you may need them. Come, Holy Spirit, unconditional love of God our Father for all our children, help us to get out of your way so that you can lead our children to Jesus Christ and the Church where, when, and how you will!
– John J. Boucher and his wife Therese co-authored the book, “Praying for Our Adult Sons and Daughters: Placing Them in the Heart of God” (Word Among Us Press).