Sorry, we weren't there for you

By Michael O’Connell | CFP Correspondent

WORCESTER – One of the most poignant moments of pro-life advocate Pat Castle’s talk at the Worcester Diocesan Catholic Men’s Conference came when he apologized to a select group of men in the audience for not being there for them.
He was speaking to men who had wittingly or unwittingly supported a woman in their lives who sought an abortion.
“You were duped into thinking, ‘I guess I’m helping her’ – that somehow this is going to help her,” he said. “If you got duped, I’m sorry that we weren’t there for you. I’m sorry there wasn’t a good Catholic man to reach out a hand to you. I’m sorry there wasn’t a good Catholic man to reach out to you and say, ‘This is the least manly thing you could ever think of doing.’”
Mr. Castle has dedicated himself to the pro-life cause. The retired Air Force medical squadron commander is founder and president of LIFE Runners, the world’s largest pro-life running/walking team, with 18,800 teammates worldwide.
He opened the April 2 conference with a talk called “How to be a Pro-Life Champion.” He praised men who displayed “real manhood,” and detailed principal tenets that “pro-life champions” display.
Real manhood, Mr. Castle said, is rooted in service, sacrifice and a willingness to stand up for one’s convictions. He related stories of a bishop steadfastly shaking the gates outside of an abortion facility and former distance runner Alan Webb (Mr. Castle called him “the Michael Jordan of track”) dedicating his life to Catholicism.
Mr. Castle included pro-life champions’ efforts to protect the unborn as examples of “real manhood.”
“By our very nature, men, God created us to do what? Protect,” he said. “By our very nature, we’re protectors. Have we forgotten that? Let’s do our jobs.”
How can men become pro-life champions?
“We’ve got to start by showing up,” he said. “If we’re going to be looking like it, reading like it, eating like it, where are the championships? They’re at your dinner table. They’re at work when you hear that conversation (about someone considering an abortion). You get past that notion that it’s ‘none of my business.’ None of your business to be loving, heroic, manly, helpful? Get over that! That’s what Satan wants you to think. It is our business to reach out to those around us and help them get to heaven.”
Mr. Castle said pro-life efforts yield results. Citing statistics, he claimed that many women have related that they may have reconsidered their decision to get an abortion if one person had said an encouraging word, or if they had seen an encouraging sign.
Specifically, Mr. Castle listed several ways men can strive to be “pro-life champions.”
By following Scripture: “Going to heaven and being a pro-life champion are the same thing. Pro-God is pro-life.”
By displaying supportive slogans on clothing, jewelry or home signs: “Mark yourself. It’s life-saving.”
By posting pro-life materials on social media: “Or at least get your grandkids to post something for you.”
By receiving the Eucharist: “Eat like a pro-life champion.”
By speaking up: “Don’t give up. Don’t let the culture normalize evil.”
“So that’s the reality,” Mr. Castle said.
Mr. Castle’s talk was followed by two other morning sessions – by marketing executive Kevin O’Brien of Wisconsin and Father Anthony Hamaty of the Diocese of St. Augustine, Florida. Mr. O’Brien focused on the elements of being “A Courageous Father” while Father Hamaty’s pre-confession session addressed: “Where are You? How and Why We Hide from God’s Love and Mercy!”
Father Hamaty, a former physician, described confession as “coming to the love and mercy of Jesus Christ.” He warned listeners to avoid pornography and protect their marriages and children, to realize that the tongue that receives the Eucharist must not curse or cut people down, and to watch out for anger and envy. He recommended using an examination of conscience on the website fathersofmercy.com and going to confession monthly or, if possible, every two weeks. 
“The approach to confession should not be one where it’s just a punctuation, and every time you fail you just say, ‘I’ll go here,’” Father Hamaty said. “Think of it as all one thing. You’re getting stronger each time. That’s why you need to go regularly to confession. Don’t just wait for the big stuff. If you keep going regularly, you build up a resilience against Satan because every sacrament is an opportunity for grace.”




Be the shepherd of your home


By Michael O’Connell  | CFP Correspondent

WORCESTER – Former Northborough resident Kevin O’Brien played briefly in the NFL – attending training camps for the New England Patriots and Buffalo Bills back in the 1990s. Not long enough to make either team’s regular season roster. But long enough to learn a valuable lesson he later passed on to his football-playing son.
“I ‘what-iffed’ myself right off the team,” Mr. O’Brien recalled, speaking at the Worcester Diocesan Catholic Men’s Conference Saturday.  “What if I make a mistake? What if I miss a tackle? That fear weighed me down.”
Over the years Mr. O’Brien learned to ignore fear and approach every task “with purpose.” The tactic served him well in church, in work and in family life. (He went on to run his own marketing business and co-found a successful annual men’s conference in Milwaukee, having also helped with the Worcester conference.) And it appeared to serve his son Shane, too. Years later, after Shane played a great game in college, his father asked what changed in his play. Shane’s response: “Dad, I play with purpose.”
This lesson was one Mr. O’Brien delivered to the men’s conference audience in a talk he titled, “The Courageous Father.” To act as courageous fathers, he said, men need to be strong and set positive examples.
“I tell this to my kids, and I want to affirm this: I want you to know you are the king of the castle. Not in a toxic, masculine, negative way – but in a strong way,” he said. “Women want this. … Masculinity is forged in struggle and sacrifice. Society is trying to take that from you.”
Specifically, Mr. O’Brien said, his listeners could be strong and display courage by integrating five principal tactics into their everyday behavior.
Men can start by getting their heads right. In other words, he said, be positive, expose yourself to positive messages and don’t get consumed by thoughts that you “can’t” do important things like going to confession, praying the rosary or leading your family correctly.
“Make sure you’re thinking about the right things,” he said. “What consumes your mind controls your life. Don’t chain yourself to imaginary anchors of ‘can’t.’ Rid yourself of ‘can’t.’”
Next, “form good habits.” If you want to lose weight, he said, remove ice cream from the freezer. If you want to live a life of virtue, create an environment that allows you to form good habits. He said people who have “self-mastered” their own wills “stack the deck in their favor. They remove the temptation that’s around them. This is such a simple thing, but so profound. They make it easier to do the good.”
The last three lessons he’s learned he described as follows. Form friendships with great men. (“You are who you surround yourself with.”). Have a “do-it-now mindset.” (“When you leave here today, I want you to be so jacked, so excited that you turn this inspiration you got into action.”) And third, do everything you do with purpose. (“When you have purpose in your life, it will give you the strength to push through the valley of tears.”)
Overall, Mr. O’Brien said, courageous dads need to step up and be leaders.
“There is a need right now for good men to stand up in the breach,” he told the crowd. “You strengthen the father, you strengthen the family, you lift up society.”
He stopped and looked out at the crowd. “Who’s the shepherd of the home? Who is it?” he asked, raising his voice. Then he pointed to the crowd. “You are!”

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