Men's group in Hopedale offers support

By Bill Doyle
CFP Correspondent

Last August, Ernie Chaplin began organizing a Catholic men’s group that would meet virtually via Zoom and he soon learned that he would need unexpected spiritual support from the members.
Mr. Chaplin, 59, of Hopedale, was diagnosed with prostate cancer on Sept. 8, and interacting with members of the men’s group helped him cope.
Mr. Chaplin said there is no question in his mind that his decision to form a men’s group from Sacred Heart of Jesus Parish in Hopedale just before his diagnosis “coincided for a reason.”
His fellow men’s group members agree that it was divine intervention.
“It was God giving him what he needed at that time,” Richard Alves said. “He needed the fellowship from the rest of the group and God knows that and that’s exactly what he got.”
“I absolutely believe,” Kevin Maldarelli said, “that the starting of this program at Sacred Heart and his medical concerns were definitely something that was from a higher authority.”
Mr. Chaplin underwent successful surgery at Massachusetts General Hospital on Dec. 22 and he’s doing well now. His first meeting with the men’s group in early January after his surgery meant a lot to him.
“It was remarkable to be in the company of 25 guys,” he said, “that had been praying for me, 25 guys that were concerned about me, that were checking in on me, and it’s amazing what that will do for your spirit.”
A year and half ago, while Mr. Chaplin played golf at Shining Rock Golf Club in Northbridge, a friend told him about his involvement with a Catholic men’s program, “That Man Is You,” in his hometown of Erie, Pennsylvania. The program is offered at nearly 600 parishes in the United States and addresses the pressures and temptations facing men, especially husbands and fathers, and combines social and medical science with the teachings of the Church and the wisdom of the saints to develop the vision of man.
Intrigued, Mr. Chaplin attended a handful of “That Man is You” meetings in North Attleborough before the pandemic closed churches for several months last spring. In August, Mr. Chaplin, Matthew Smith and Jeff Ayotte decided to launch a virtual TMIY chapter at Sacred Heart of Jesus where Mr. Chaplin is a faithful parishioner and where his wife, Pam, is ministry and operations manager. They have three adult children.
A men’s group hadn’t met regularly at Sacred Heart for a few years, so Mr. Chaplin didn’t know what to expect. He’s thrilled that close to 30 men, aged 35-70, are taking part in the Zoom meetings on Saturday mornings during a pandemic. Most are from Sacred Heart, but others attend churches in surrounding towns and one, the son of a member, takes part from Virginia. 
Mr. Chaplin is the core team leader and he’s assisted by core team members Smith, Ayotte and Deacon Thomas Tierney.
“It’s an opportunity for men to gather and have that fellowship, that camaraderie,” Mr. Chaplin said. “The men in the group are all on a very similar journey and they share experiences of how their faith has been their anchor.”
There is no charge to join the group, but the TMIY national office appeals for donations twice a year. Paradisus Dei, the national leadership of TMIY, produces a half-hour video that members can watch at their leisure each week.
Mr. Chaplin is director of sales and business development at a company that prints pharmaceutical packaging and he realizes that some men may not have the time to attend an annual weekend retreat or regular in-person meetings. So his group gathers via Zoom for only a half hour, from 7:30-8 a.m., for 26 Saturdays. After an opening prayer, the men break into small Zoom groups and then reconvene for a round-table discussion.
“That’s been the beauty of it,” Mr. Chaplin said, “the brevity and the ability to connect in a brief sort of way, but also in a deep sort of way.”
John Walek, 50, uses Zoom while teaching elementary school art in Needham and he enjoys communicating via Zoom in the men’s group.
“For that 30 minutes,” said Mr. Walek, who lives in Milford with his wife, Audrey, and their two sons, “we’re there as brothers talking about our life journeys with Jesus Christ and how we can share these experiences with one another. I think it’s the perfect format. I think God put us in this situation for a reason, to share this experience with COVID.”
This is the first church group for Mr. Walek, who returned to the Catholic Church a year and a half ago. Mr. Chaplin was his mentor when he was confirmed last June. He teaches faith formation at Sacred Heart and his son, A.J., is preparing to make his first Communion.
Mr. Alves pointed out that by breaking into smaller groups, everyone contributes rather than fading into the background, as can happen in some large Zoom meetings.
Mr. Alves, 50, and his wife, Michelle, of Hopedale have two children and attend Sacred Heart. He said he didn’t know what to expect from meeting so early on Saturday mornings, but talking to fellow members with common interests has turned out to be a great way to start the weekend.
“It’s a good way for me to focus on what really matters,” he said, “being a good Catholic and being a productive member of Sacred Heart.”
Mr. Maldarelli, 39, said his sons, 6-year-old Luca and nearly 2-year-old Nico, often join the Zoom meetings before the men break into smaller groups.
“It’s not only instilling the faith in me,” Mr. Maldarelli said, “and growing that fellowship and the need within me during this pandemic and the isolation that we’re all going through, but it’s also setting a good example for my children, who see this group of men gathering together to talk about God and his impact on our lives.”
Mr. Maldarelli, his wife, Joanna, and their two sons live in Milford. Mr. Maldarelli and Mr. Chaplin belong to Sacred Heart’s planning team.
He joined his first church men’s group because he needed something more than attending Mass.
“I needed the relationships with not only God and my faith,” Mr. Maldarelli said, “but also with like-minded people on their individual faith-based journeys.”
Mr. Chaplin thanked Father William C. Konicki, Sacred Heart pastor, for not only supporting the men’s group, but taking part in the Zoom meetings.
 When the pandemic ends, Mr. Chaplin expects the men’s group to continue to meet virtually, but he may add a monthly in-person gathering.
“We’re hoping to continue to plant some seeds,” he said.

– The Zoom meetings are open to all men. If interested, contact Mr. Chaplin at 508-963-4182 or erchaplin@gmail.com.